


Porridge

by nonFruitscriptor



Series: Devilishly Delicious [1]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-04
Updated: 2019-01-04
Packaged: 2019-10-04 03:38:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,483
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17297021
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nonFruitscriptor/pseuds/nonFruitscriptor
Summary: In which Trixie makes a deal with the Devil.Note:  I don't own any of these characters.





	Porridge

**Author's Note:**

> Proof read by the author so all mistakes in grammar are mine.

Breakfast was divine, homemade crepes stuffed with delicious things, some savoury and some sweet. Trixie swallowed a huge mouthful, looked up at Lucifer and gave him her best smile. 

“Lucifer, will you teach me to cook?”

Chloe put down her knife and fork and stared at her daughter wondering where that had come from. Then she glanced at Lucifer and saw the serious expression on his face.

“Trix, don’t bother Lucifer, he’s far too busy.”

The Devil looked down at the spawn, trying to gauge the seriousness of her request. 

“Of course Beatrice, but there has to be something in this deal for me. If I teach you to cook, my end of the deal is that: one, you taste, and I mean have mouthful of everything we make, and two, you help with the cleaning up. Do with have deal Beatrice?”

Trixie looked up at him and put out her hand to close the deal but before he took her hand Lucifer drew himself up to his full height and stared down at her. 

“Beatrice, you do realise who are making a deal with?”

Chloe frowned as she watched the worried expression spread over Trixie’s face. 

“Lucifer!, don’t scare Trixie.” 

Lucifer looked at Chloe and replied.

“Detective, I’m trying to give Beatrice a life lesson, that when one enters into a contract one fulfils it. I see no harm in that.” 

Chloe huffed and resumed eating.

“Do we have a deal Trixie?” extending his arm.

“Yes Lucifer” she replied taking his hand and shaking it it. 

 

The following Tuesday evening Chloe was making dinner when there was a knock at door, peering through the peephole she could make out that it was a delivery driver. 

“Evening , I have a package for Beatrice care of Chloe Decker.” 

Chloe looked surprised wondering if her mother had sent something for Trixie then realised that only Lucifer used her full name. 

“Trixie is my daughter, I’m Chloe Decker.”

“If you could sign here please.”

Chloe signed the docket and took the package inside, intrigued as to what the contents could be. 

She called her daughter, “Hey Monkey, there is a package for you, I think it’s from Lucifer.”

Trixie leapt out of her bedroom and ran to the kitchen hardly able to contain her excitement. 

 

“Mommy can I open it. Pleeeeaaaaase?”

“Sure Trixie,” and Chloe gave Trixie the kitchen scissors. 

Trixie made short work of the packing tape , opened the box and peered inside. 

Chloe smiled, she saw her daughter’s eyes getting bigger as she looked at the contents of the box.

Trixie pulled out a handwritten note and read it to her Mom.

_Dear Beatrice,  
Enclosed are some essentials that you will need on your journey to becoming a master chef. I hope the uniform fits you. _

__

__

_Sincerely,  
Lucifer._

 

Trixie put her hand in the package and pulled out a chef’s uniform consisting of a hat, white jacket and checked trousers. 

Chloe’s eyes widened as she looked at the uniform , certain that Lucifer must have had it tailor made.

“Mom, It’s a chefs uniform, I’ve seen them on the TV, I’m going to try it on”.

“Slow down Monkey, you can try it on in a minute, what else is in there?”

Trixie put her hand into the package and pulled out a box, she put on the bench and opened it , a look of awe spreading across her face as she looked at the contents of the box. 

“WOW .” She picked up a chef’s knife and showed it to her Mom.

Chloe flinched when she saw it. “Be careful with that Monkey it must be really sharp!”

“I will Mom” and Trixie carefully put it back in it’s box. Trixie handed the box to her Mom and Chloe opened the box and looked at the Carter Funayuki knife, it was beautiful.

Trixie put her hand in the package again and pulled out two wooden rods that looked a little like small baseball bats. There was a label tied to the handle of one of them and Trixie read it to her Mom.

“Mom it says ‘Spurtle’, Tasmanian Black Wood, what’s a Spurtle?” looking at her mother expectantly. 

“I have no idea, let me have a look.”

Trixie handed her mother a spurtle and she examined it, turning it in her hands as she ran her fingers over it, it was smooth with a beautiful grain.

She shook her head and shrugged her shoulders at Trixie.

“I will have to look it up.”

Reaching over for her laptop, she opened the lid and typed ‘define spurtle’ into her favourite search engine. She read the the first few results then looked up and smiled at her daughter. 

“Looks like you a going to be cooking Porridge Monkey.”

“What’s Porridge?”

“We call it Oatmeal, but in Britain they call it Porridge”

“Yum!” Trixie beamed at her Mom.

 

Trixie grabbed her uniform and bolted to the bedroom. A few minutes later she came down to the kitchen and did a little twirl for her mother. 

“Mommy, take a picture and send it to Lucifer. No wait, let me get the spurtle and the knife.”

Trixie posed for her mother, knife and spurtle in hand with a huge grin on her face.  
Chloe couldn’t help smile at how adorable Trixie looked and sent the picture to Lucifer.

L. Glad that the uniform fits. First lesson on Saturday morning OK?  
C. Sure. 8:30?  
L. Deal Detective.

 

It was 8:30 am on Saturday, Chloe heard a knock at the door and peering through the peephole she could see Lucifer standing outside. She opened the door and a smile spread across her face. Lucifer was dressed in a chef’s uniform similar to Trixie’s. He was carrying a shopping bag with what she guessed were the ingredients for the Porridge.  
Chloe looked him over and her stomach started to flutter, God the man looked good in a uniform.

“Welcome to my home Escoffier,” she said as she waved him in with a flourish. 

Lucifer gave a little bow and walked inside and turned to Chloe.

“Detective, I didn’t think that you would know who Escoffier was.”

Chloe smiled, “I watched a program about him on the Discovery Channel.’

“And I knew him,” continue Lucifer, “he taught me how to make French sauces amongst other things, amazing cook but an arrogant prick. And that damn mustache of his, it tickled!”

Chloe rolled her eyes, Lucifer knowing Escoffier, that was clearly impossible unless Lucifer was over 100 years old. She called to Trixie who promptly appeared, dressed in her uniform carrying her spurtle. 

“Good morning Beatrice, are you ready?”

Beatrice yelled out his name and flung herself at his legs.

 

“Right child…” looking pleadingly at Chloe while trying to shake her off “let’s get started.”  
Chloe couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m glad someone finds this so amusing. Detetive, if you could kindly remove this urchin and furnish us with suitable saucepan.”

With a huge grin on her face, Chloe disappeared behind the kitchen bench and reappeared with a saucepan and lid and placed it on the stove then she moved to the other side of the bench to watch.

Lucifer and Beatrice took up positions on either side of the pan and he put the shopping bag on the countertop. 

“Beatrice, today we are going to cook Porridge, what Americans call Oatmeal.”

Beatrice smiled at him, “I like Oatmeal with Maple Syrup.”

“I’m sure you do, but today we are going to have Oatmeal the Scottish way.”

“However , before we begin, I have something for you.”

Lucifer reached into his pockets and pulled a leather bound notebook, a box containing a fountain pen and a bottle of ink.

“Beatrice, the book and pen are for you to record the recipes. I’ve selected a book with blank pages so can decorate each page to your satisfaction.”

“But first I’ll show you how to fill the pen.”

Chloe and Beatrice watched in fascination as Lucifer unscrewed the barrel off the pen and dipped it into the ink and filled the reservoir. He wiped the excess ink of the nib and gave the pen to Beatrice. 

“That’s how it’s done Beatrice.”

Then to Beatrice’s surprise, he emptied the reservoir and gave the pen back to her.

“Your turn Beatrice, fill the pen.”

Beatrice dipped the pen in the ink and copied what Lucifer had done to fill the reservoir.

A look of disappointment spread over her face when no ink went into the reservoir. 

“You have to make sure the nib is submerged, but not so deep that you get in ink on the grip.” 

Lucifer carefully guided her hand until the nib was the right depth in the ink then Beatrice filled the reservoir then cleaned the nib. She beamed at Lucifer and he winked at her, she put the barrel back on the pen and replaced the cap. 

Lucifer emptied the bag onto the countertop.

“The ingredients to Porridge are few , rolled oats, milk, a water and a little salt then sugar and cream to finish and of course the secret ingredient.”

“What’s the secret ingredient?”

Lucifer looked down at Beatrice and patted his nose, a smile spreading across his face.

“That Beatrice is a secret that you will have to wait to be revealed.”

 

He put the pan on the stove and turned the on the ring to medium. Then he asked Beatrice to pour in two cups of oats, two cups of water and two cups of milk and add a pinch of salt to the pan. After that he asked her to write down what they had done. She opened her notebook and took the top of her pen and wrote “Porridge” then wrote down the ingredients underneath. 

“The important thing now Beatrice is not to let it burn, so we must be patient and use our spurtles to stir the porridge.”

Beatrice was not quite tall enough to stir the porridge so Lucifer picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist.

Chloe watched him, she knew he was strong, she’d seen him push a man through a plate glass window as if he was pushing peas around a plate but she did not think he could hold Trixie up for long as she was getting big. 

Trixie put her Spurtle in the pot and stirred the Porridge.

“Lucifer, where did you learn to cook Porridge?” 

Lucifer told her a fantastic story, he was in Hell and he decided to pop up to Scotland to replenish his whisky supply and found himself in the middle of a war between the Scotts and the English. He stayed to watch history unfold and it was there near Culloden that he learned to cook Bannock, Oat Cake and Porridge. 

Chloe listened to the story, rolling her eyes as the story unfolded but then she realised what Lucifer had done, he’d made the mundane act of stirring the pot fascinating by simply telling a story. She knew the story could not be true but to her daughter it was the gospel and Trixie hung on every word. 

Lucifer added a little more milk when the Porridge got too thick then finally declared the porridge cooked. Putting her down (Chloe noted he held her up for over 20 minutes and not shifted once) he explained to Trixie that the oats were gelatinous enough and it was ready for serving.

He took three bowls from the cupboard and invited Trixie to ladle the Porridge into the bowls then put a tablespoon of brown sugar on top and a generous serving of fresh cream.

Trixie noted this in her book. 

Lucifer grinned at Chloe, “And now for the secret ingredient.”

He ducked down behind the breakfast bar and seemingly out of nowhere he pulled out three bottles of Whisky. He noticed the frown develop on Chloe’s brow as he placed them on the counter. 

“Please Detective, it would not be Scotts Porridge without a wee dram, don’t judge before you try.”

“Lucifer Morningstar!” she scolded, ‘you’re not giving my daughter whisky!”

“Mom,” Trixie pleaded, her bottom lip rolling over “that’s the secret ingredient , I’ve got try it, pleeeeeeaaase.”

“No Trixie, no whisky for you.”

“Detective, what harm is there in half a teaspoon?”

Chloe gave Lucifer her best Mom glare.

“Half a teaspoon and that’s all?”

“Of course detective, for Beatrice half a teaspoon.”

“Ok , just half a teaspoon, you are NOT going to make an alcoholic of my 8 year old?”

Lucifer look hurt.

“Detective you wound me. Of course I’m not.”

Chloe relented and Trixie jumped up and down with excitement.

Lucifer took the tops of the bottles and invited Chloe and Trixie to smell the Whisky.

As they sniffed the bottles he told them the story of where they made, the history of the distillery and the type of casks they were matured in. 

Chloe chose the Glenmorangie Sherry Cask, Lucifer’s choice was Ardbeg Corryvrekan and for Trixie he suggested the Glenfiddich.

He carefully poured a teaspoon into Chloe’s bowl, half a teaspoon in Trixie’s and a generous splosh into his own. 

Lucifer beamed at the Decker girls.

“Stir it in and enjoy the aroma then savour the taste.”

Chloe and Trixie took his lead and stirred in the sugar, cream and Whisky then sniffed the aromas. Chloe had to admit it smelt delicious. 

“Enjoy!”

They ate in companionable silence, Trixie added more cream and sugar to hers then asked if she could have more. 

“OK Trixie, you can have more porridge but no more whisky.”

Trixie pouted and faked a sulk but she knew she would not win. Content with getting a second helping she put a large spoonful in her bowl and smothered it with cream and sugar.

 

Later that morning when the washing up had been done without any complaints from Trixie and Lucifer had left to attend to business at Lux Chloe picked up the pen that he had given Trixie. She thought about the cooking lesson and how for a man supposedly hated children had made the morning so special for her daughter. She twiddled the pen between her fingers and realised that it felt wonderful in her hand, the weight was just right and it fitted so well between her fingers. Curiosity got the better of her and she typed Mont Blanc into her favourite search engine. Her jaw dropped as she saw the price of the Mont Blanc Platinum Line 149 Fountain Pen. She carefully put the pen back in it’s box and closed the lid. 

Chloe shook her head in disbelief then she wondered about the knife Lucifer had given Trixie. She typed Carter Master Smith 7.9’’ Funayuki into the search bar. Overcome with acute dyspnea she collapsed on the couch.

Lucifer Morningstar, that man was going to be the death of her.

**Author's Note:**

> OK, so it's probably not true Scottish porridge, but I was served this in Scotland on Christmas Day six years ago and it became a family tradition.


End file.
